Saturday, October 2, 2010

Older

Thanks for all the birthday wishes - it was a fabulous day and I have new music, new clothes, new movies and new books to enjoy.

I was a pig ALL day long and had a jolly good time at the trough.

The only bad part of the whole thing was the actually adding a year to my age and really  - who cares?

Oh, the driver's license bureau did.  They didn't let me renew by mail this time - so I had to give up the one GREAT license photo that I EVER had (and had for a long time) and get a new one.

So after taking my new photo the girl behind the counter asks "did anything change?"

Well, duh....  Can you see me?  Can you see the old photo? 

"I think you need to list my hair as gray now - it is not brown any more" 

So she does look up at me and enthusiastically agrees.  Then she has the nerve to ask about weight.  (It isn't shown on your Texas license but evidently that confidential info is in the files.) 

Hmmm ....what does it list from last time?

REALLY? 

I weighed that little as an adult human???? 

REALLY?  (I must have lied when I gave them that number) 

Ummmmm - guess you better add 30 pounds. 

With age comes honesty.

So OFFICIALLY, I am a year older and heavier and yet happy as can be - 'cause I don't quite look as bad as this guy - inspired by the birthday card hubby's best friend and his family sent me.




It was a Hallmark-er and said
"So what if your crabby, a little bit flabby, or take the occasional snooze?
So what if your gassy, or prone to be sassy, or yell at some guy on the news?
So what if you're addled, your memory's skedaddled, you struggle to get out of bed?
It's no bed of roses, what everyone knows is...
It sure as hell beats being dead!"

And on the back "Well, I'm all cheered up. How about you?"

If you need to make a confused old man for a birthday card, here's the 411
Bathrobe - 2.5 inch circle flat on one side - draw on belt and collar
Sleeves - narrow Heart To Heart repunched offset at bottom
Legs - narrow Heart to Heart repunched offset at bottom - snip one side shorter with your scissors so the leg end is shorter than the foot end - point of heart is his heel
Slippers - part of wide Heart to Heart
Hands - itty bitty circle around tips of modern label
Head - wide oval
Ears - wide heart to heart  - cut in half to get two ears
Nose - word window
Eyes - word window repunched to shorten
Eyelids - word window fold in half and snip diagonally to get identical eyelids with one cut
Eyebrows - retired slot punch (can use tiny scrap) snipped like cutting grass but on the diagonal - rough up with finger nail
Draw lines on face and black of eyes
I used Blueberry Crisp paper for his bathrobe - remember to use pattern paper in your punch art - it can really make a difference.
*****
Sorry for going missing on y'all for a few days.  I got some really sweet emails from ladies concerned about me.  I appreciate your concern and assure you I am fine.

It was a combination of birthday celebrations and old folk emergencies.  As in, I was starting to compose this post when I got a call and had to get one of the dear oldies to the emergency room.  All is fine now.  Another bullet dodged and different pills for him to take.  Phew!  More doctor visits with them this week so if my posting is spotty - don't worry - I'm just off doing my "other job".

3 comments:

Jeanette (Forest Ranger) said...

I loved reading about your day... especially the driver's license. ummmmmmmmm... I'm having a birthday later this month - and I, too, must go in this time around. It's THAT age, you know. In my case, we'll need to change the haircolor to gray (cuz I've been ignoring that fact for years) and I GET to lower the weight!!! Woo Hoo!!!

I love love love your punch art guy!!! Toooooo cute! You are a daily inspiration to me!

Carol said...

Glad you had a nice birthday and I can so relate to the hair changing colour and the weight going up! lol Your punchart is great and I may just have to use it for hubby! lol thanks for all your wonderful hard work and inspiration.

Carolyn Sharkas said...

Well, I'm certainly all cheered up after reading this post, lol. Love the grumpy old man, and the saying from inside your card. Too funny, and SOOOOO nice of your loved ones to give it to you, lol. Hope the FIL is ok. I know you said he is, but it has to be hard for him. Thank goodness he has you to help him out.

hugs,